Things that make you go GRR! (Part 2)

Continuing from before…

6. The woman from Brand Power.

Who IS this woman?

Why does she always smile? And not just any smile, this is a SMILE where you need sunglasses for protection.

Am I supposed to know who she is? Is she famous for some passing fad I missed?

And what the heck is with BRAND POWER anyhow?

See, I thought business worked liked this: You think of a name for you / your product / your service. You use the name (that’s the Brand, see) and build its reputation over time. You become known, recognised and respected. You have earned some power for your brand.

So along comes this Brand Power thing… isn’t this like a meta-brand? The brand is not important any more, what matters is to have it plugged by the Brand Power lady with the extremely white teeth.

Gahhhhh! I just don’t get this!!

7. School newsletters printed in colour

Our school has just started sending home the fortnightly newsletter, printed in full and splendiferous colour.

Somebody has a new toy – a colour laser printer. YES I KNOW THEY ARE CHEAP TO BUY. I have one. It was about $300 – delivered! The toner cartridges though are far from cheap. A complete set for the one I bought comes in at a mere $500 – so we are aiming to make the primary colour units last a long, long time. The black toner is about $90, so you can see what the cost of the others is.

The school print off 800 copies of the newsletter, in colour. The newsletter has a lifetime of about 8 hours. Long enough to get home so we can see the pictures of somebody else’s liddle darlinks, and then it goes into the recycling.

But somebody has to pay for the colour refill cartridges that have led to such a short-lived thing, and that somebody is me. Well, ok, me, and all the other parents of the liddle darlinks. Printing in colour will MULTIPLY the costs of the newsletter by about 4 times!

This is not a wise use of my hard-earned. No doubt it’s good for some administrative ego-tripper. But I don’t want it.

Time to write them a nasty letter. Perhaps I should suggest they bring back stone tablets.

8. Politicians who have suddenly discovered there is a lack of water… And all the boofheads screaming for desalination

Der… There must be an election in the air.

Suddenly Our Glorious Leader has discovered that the capital cities have little water in storage, and his prayers for rain have not been answered. Perhaps God is listening to somebody else.

At the same time as Dear Leader is posturing, we have the Victorians who won’t play the same game as the rest of us and try to actually allow centralised management of the major waterway of the country. See, they have spent years putting in more irrigation ditches and growing crops and moo-cows on irrigated pasture. Makes cheap milk.

And we have the Queensland Government who are still selling off water allocations in the upper reaches of the various waterways!

These are all Labor states. They are all supposed to be on the same side. Just imagine how difficult it would be if one of those states was not Labor!

While that’s going on we have cries for huge numbers of desalination plants to be built. Now this might be a Good Thing, in terms of actually having something to drink apart from ones own urine (Adelaide excepted… see later). However for those concerned that Global Warming has caused the change of weather and thus lack of rain, they seem to have overlooked the fact that desalination uses a LOT of electricity. Thus, more power consumption, more coal burned, more CO2, etc etc.

Next we get told we will be able to have some water, but because it’s desalinated it will be expensive so water bills will go up. The unwashed masses start whining that this isn’t good enough. SA Liberal Opposition in particular plays along with this one.

Fer crying out loud you morons, stop ya bloody whining and accept either eating shit or paying more.

Adelaide is in a special position: being at the tail end of the Murray Sewer, we’ve been eating other peoples shit for years. Strangely enough, it’s not good enough for Toowoomba. Last I checked only 3 of my neighbours have 2 heads.

9. Corporate OMO-Men

“Corporate What?”, you may ask.

Remember the adverts for OMO washing powder: cleans so well your whites won’t be white, they’ll be whiter than white.

There is a certain class of corporate junkie, mostly the sort who are desperate to climb the greasy pole of success. These are the OMO MEN.

When the boss says “Hmm, I wonder what the effect of XXX would be”, these are the guys who turn the musing into Holy Writ and pronounce to all and sundry the new policy and that henceforth we’ll be doing XXX – oh, and a little bit more dreamed up by the OMO MAN on the grounds that, well, more is better. And the boss will love it for having gone that little bit further.

I should hasten to add that OMO MEN is a catchy title, but some of the worst OMO MEN I’ve come across have been women. You know what I mean.

Omo Men are not new. They are the clich├ęd chaps in the Army who when told to go jump ask “How High, Sir?”. They are always on the lookout for the next thing that will make them look good. Usually they struggle to find a single brain cell to actually think with, but their quota of self-preservation drive is exceeded only by their quota of self-advancement drive.

Thomas Becket (Archbishop of Canterbury in 1170) was done in by OMO Men, when the King in frustration cried “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?”.

10. Career Managers

There have been advertisements appearing in some newspapers for months now, something along the lines of “Earning > $250K? Want to be head hunted? Want a board position? Want advancement?” etc etc – I’m sure you get the drift.

Now you can outsource your own climbing of the greasy corporate pole!

Pay somebody money – and while you meddle and scheme, or act as an OMO Man, or more frequently, futz about avoiding decisions – they will look after your career advancement for you!

Those who get advancement by plotting and scheming, or by outsourcing it, are like politicians: Those who want to be there are precisely those who should not be there.

I really seriously need a bucket – the contempt I feel for those who would use such a service warrants a quick throwing up!

7 Comments

I’ve also wondered about the whole Brand Power thing.. I suspect they’re resellers of TV time.. they buy Advertising Time in bulk and get a discount.. then resell to people at a slightly higher cost (but less than it would have cost them if they went to the networks direct).. and the Brand Power thing somehow gets around a restriction the Networks have on reselling.. Thats my theory anyhow.

Dunc.

Comment by Duncan Margetts | September 24th, 2007 9:23 am | Permalink

I saw a short article on the Brand Power advertising a long way back. Basically they’re a product promotions company that also has an advertising service. You go to their company and they’ll create an ad for you about your product. They’ll also promote it on their website and wherever else. Whether they also re-sell the air time or just provide the add to your company was not clear.

Their big catch is that they’ve established this marketing entity called Brand Power. It’s just a marketing name that has no correlation to the quality of the product yet it conjures up in the minds of the viewers the notion that the product must be reputable. Because the Brand Power name has been used to promote products from different companies it creates the impression that they’re an impartial or pseudo industry standard watchdog or similar.

It’s a marketing entity created for the purpose of marketing other people’s products!

Comment by newman | September 24th, 2007 10:16 am | Permalink

I think the brand power thing was invented to try and steer the masses back away from the generic brands, which are cheaper and often just as good, so more people buy them, especially those on very low incomes with kids to feed and educate.

Comment by river | September 24th, 2007 12:40 pm | Permalink

I was in Canada recently and they have the identical ads over there on TV too. The Canadian Brand Power girl isn’t as good looking at the Aussie Sheila but it’s exactly the same concept. I wonder how many countries have their own version of “Brand Power”

Comment by Jack | September 24th, 2007 3:33 pm | Permalink

Re desalination. I get a little nervous now the Powers That Be seem to be focussing all their energies on it. Desalination is more expensive yes but, more to the point, there’s the very salty wasteproduct. How are they going to dispose of it? I think water recycling should be supported more than desalination (although we’ll need both) and, of course, lets quit with the irrigation.

Comment by DunePrincess | September 24th, 2007 3:43 pm | Permalink

The Queensland Govt has actually abandoned the auction of the Warrego River water rights so they do listen to reason after all. The Vics are another matter again. I can remember back to when there was a huge drive on to make the dairy industry more ‘efficient’ and so the bulk of dairy farmers in SA and a lot in NSW and Qld went out of the industry as the Vics with a state subsidy took on the water they needed to drive the price of milk down while there was plenty of water.
So, we went from diversity to monoculture and now there is a shortage of Murray Darling water, the result is inevitable.
De-salination is a must and Dune Princess can use the salty by product as table salt!

Comment by Dad | September 25th, 2007 8:07 pm | Permalink

Wally,

Your posts are so lonnnnng, which makes comments more involved. As a result I am going to make a superficial and shallow comment.

The girl on the Brand Power ad is a “good sort” ;-)

Comment by Phil.H | September 26th, 2007 7:43 pm | Permalink

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