Scared, so scared….
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 at 9:56 pm by Wally
Every damn time the news comes on (and the TV news is far, far worse than any other type), we have some new thing to make us scared.
Everything, everything seems to be pushed, written, slanted, spun, whatever, in a way to make us SCARED.
Swine flu – will KILL you.
And if that don’t get you, GLOBAL WARMING WILL KILL YOU. (And before that years ago it was the coming next ice age that would KILL US but you had to be living in the 1970’s to remember that one.)
A year or two ago it was BIRD FLU.
Every day, its the Global Recession, intermixed with TOXIC ASSETS. (Seems to me to be a bit of a mixup here – Assets are usually worth something, so isn’t a toxic asset a contradiction in terms?)
Eat too much fat, it will KILL YOU. Eat too little, that will KILL you as well. Eat too many red vegetables: dead. Too many purple vegetables: dead. And god help you for eating the green shite.
And lets not forget to be scared because the vegetables are not grown the way they used to – evil intensive agriculture means that they are all water (or some other crap) and have no nutrients. Result: DEAD!
Oh – but Chocolate is good for you, but only if its dark chocolate, otherwise (yes, you guess it) dead, dead, dead. Oh but don’t eat too much dark chocolate either, because (yes, you worked it out).
And tonight on the news – we are facing a TSUNAMI OF ALZHIEMERS. Oh please… no! Save me from the marauding hoards of the vague and forgetful, lest I be drowned!!
The news copy writers, and catastrophists are pissing me the heck off. They’ve run out of ways to tell the news, so everything has to be dressed up as some terrible and dire disaster that will cause the sun to fail to rise on the morrow. I’m reminded of a fire-and-brimstone preacher: There shall be no enjoyment! You will DIE for your sins unless you find a way to salvation. These days the way to salvation isn’t spiritual, it’s to be green, mean, debt free, organic, anti-oxidated, highly lubricated, blah blah blah.
Spare me. I’ve had enough of this crap. It’s time to stop watching and listening to the news. That’ll teach ‘em.
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You’re preaching to the converted here. I read more and more news online and from odd sources Al Jazeera for instance you’re so right. Then we hear only 7 people have legitimately died from swine flu, probably fewer than die from seasonal flu in Australia each year. Beatups and bashups I hate it. Even one of my lobby groups emailed this morning using swine flu as an excuse to lobby against US owned pig farms in Mexico even though there’s no proof that’s where it originated. Mind you, probably stopped a bit of illegal immigrants crossing into the US for a week or two. When I am queen of the world, I’m getting rid of those stupid A Current Affair tabloid type TV half hours as well. Total snot to be expelled in a metaphorical tissue and tossed in the kitchen tidy!