The Time Has Come (the Walrus said) Archives

F*&^ing Low Cost F*^%ing Airlines… Merry Christmas

Tomorrow we hop in the silver bird and go away for a coupla days over Christmas.

Lets run a tally so far on what’s gone wrong.

The accommodation. More on this later. The place where we and the extended family are staying has been sold. We found out just recently that not everything we booked AND PAID for will be available. The new owners say they were not paid for our booking, and in fact had no knowledge at all of it! The former owner doesn’t want to be contacted. Looks like we (collectively, amongst the 8 of us going) have done some of our dough. The place is still available, we are just not getting what we paid for.

Airlines. From the original booking, Qantas have changed one of our flights, now Jetstar have changed the other one. At least they informed us.

But today I’m trying to do the on-line checkin thing, reserve seats early and often, that sort of thing. Because the flights have been changed, the online checkin is not available. After half an hour on the phone, online checkin is now available but it does not work for me! I still can’t reserve the damn seats or print a boarding pass from home.

In the normal course of events this might not be a big deal, but She Who Must Be Obeyed gets travel sick at even the thought of stepping over a skate-board. It looks, from the comments of one of the call centre folks, like we are allocated to steerage – the very back row next to the chemical loos. The worst seats in a plane for those who barf at even the thought of a bumpy ride. NOBODY on the phone can change the seat allocation – but if I could get into online checkin I could do it! What is wrong with these people?

And as for F*&%ing Jetstar. The booking references I put all come up and tell me they have system errors, or maintenance, or other bullshit. There is no information in their system about the flights at all. And their call centre can’t or won’t help either: “Sorry, we can’t do anything.” web site useless. Call centre completely f*&^ing hopeless.

Thanks Mr Branson, by lowering the cost of travel you have also forced all the other carriers to join the race to the bottom. Low prices, crap service.

Here’s hoping the car company actually have the car we’ve booked.

At this rate, I CAN’T WAIT.

Gimli Glider

In a coupla days the family and I will be whizzing around in a nasty smelly greenhouse-polluting aeroplane (airplane for the Seppos).

Never like these very much, and the worst part of all is take off and landing. This is where most accidents occur, the window is about the first 2-5 minutes after the wheels lift off, and the 2-5 minutes of the landing about the time the wheels hit the deck.

I know our safety record in the brown-land-of-oz is pretty good, I just hope they put in enough fuel.

I want the pilot of the Gimli Glider, thanks.

Rolling into Christmas

Dunno about the rest of you, but its chaos.

I’d like to think we roll into Christmas with a bit of a slowing down in the last week or two, a bit like the school kiddies going to the pool and having “games day”. Stuff like that.

Not how it is in the working world though: Demands seem to be going up, not down.

Loads of things have to be completed before the Christmas break. This week I’ve had a day trip to Sydney, a day trying to write a visit report (still not complete), a day in the office where I started on the things I wanted to do at 6:30 pm and thought Ohbuggerit, I’m going home.

Still trying to get to that *@#$ visit report. Sick child. Stuff not done and needed ASAP. Things to do in evenings. People to phone. Still got #%$# cards to write and post. Haven’t even begun the annual Christmas letter.

Arrgghhh!

Think I need a holiday.

Mr Puddy Tat Helps Himself

Just after Christmas last year we acquired the new Mr Puddy Tat – Spike.

Spike spent months being an inside cat, in spite of my better judgement.

These days Spike doesn’t like being inside, so he’s mostly an outside cat by his own choice. Except at nights.

At nights, usually late at night, and when its cold, Spike likes to be inside and asleep on somebodies bed.

Trouble is, Spike has grown up. He’s now 6 kg, and when stretched out tip to tail he’s about a metre long. It makes for a very large, heavy, bed-lump if he wants to share. But worst of all, he likes getting up for a pit-stop at about 3:30am, then whines at the door to be let back in at about 4 am. This does not make a good nights sleep in the Dump Household.

So Spike now sleeps in the garage at night, on that special bean-bag that was made for him.

And Spike has food in the garage – but sometimes we don’t put out enough.

Not to worry – Spikey has figured out how to get the food out of the bag by himself:

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Those rips in the bag, and the holes – that’s Spike using teeth and claws until he gets what he wants.

We watched him one day – he starts by tipping the bag over, then grabbing the bottom edge and lifting it. If lucky, the top had not been sealed and the food just tips out. If that fails, he attacks the bag until he can get what he wants.

Do I laugh or cry?

Boys, boys boys

Why is it that boys can eat their food and:

- cover the table in grot

- cover their fingers in grease

And when you say nothing they go putting those greasy fingers all over walls, the fridge, door handles, furniture. You name it!

And when you say “go wash your hands” they do a 5 second burst under a fully-on tap with cold water, then go dry those greasy hands on a towel. Result: greasy tap, revolting towels, and still greasy fingers.

Arrrgggghhhhhh!

Can anybody tell me if girl-children so this? Boy-children are driving me mad!

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