Finally… the honourable mentions… Those former pollies, or those who are not in senior positions but who deserve a special mention anyway.
As before, here are the categories they get lumped into:
- Evil
- Bumbling Fool
- Means Well
- Good Guy
The has-beens…
Meg Lees
Also known as Meg Sleeze, helped to deliver Little Johns glorious GST, but in the process made it infinitely more complicated than it needed to be – by exempting food. But not all food, only “fresh food”.
So going to Woolworths and buying an uncooked chook is GST exempt, but buying a cooked one has GST. But bread is cooked and GST free. The list of whackiness goes on, and on.
Meg might think she is a Means Well, but adding more complexity and cost to the tax system makes her a Bumbling Fool.
Natasha Stott-Despoja
Also known as Natasha Spot Destroyer, our Nat is best known for her appearances on “Good News Week”, where she specialised in trying to look cute. Not much sensible came from her appearances in this comedy show, and not much improved when in parliament.
Another who thinks she Means Well, but the lack of achieving anything tips the scales more to Bumbling Fool.
Bob Hawke
Swept to power in the 1980’s in time to celebrate the Americas cup win, the Silver Bodgie was everybodies friend… well, all bar one (see below). Best known for drinking vast quantities, and running the peak union movement, Bob was soon ineffectual and became old Jelly-Back.
Became Labor leader by doing deals to dump Bill Hayden shows a certain cunning – leading to a possible assessment of Evil. A desire to change things, and significant economic reform gives an assessment of Means Well. Prone to silly promises (children & poverty) makes me think Bumbling Fool. The wild gyrations mean that history will be the best judge, and even 10 years later, it is still too soon to really tell.
Possibly a Means Well, probably a Bumbling Fool.
Paul Keating
Clock collector and one-time pig farmer, the self-proclaimed “Worlds Best Treasurer” had with a most colourful turn of phrase. Perhaps that’s where Delfin got that line from for their Golden Grove residential development (for those not in the know – the self-proclaimed “Worlds best development” Pfffttttt!).
Politics has been infinitely more dull since Pauls time as Treasurer and PM. No more banana republics, no more calling people maggotts. It’s all boring now. Bring back Paul and put some colour into Canberra!
Definitely not a Good Guy, and too smart to be a Bumbling Fool, he could be Evil, and could equally be a Means Well. What a combination!
Robert Hill
This former Liberal Minster of Defence distinguished himself by scrapping an evaluation of new aircraft for the Australian Defence Force, and signing up the the US-developed Joint Strike Fighter.
Following what will prove to be the most foolish, expensive, and disastrous purchase decision, ever, he has been promoted to better things – now ambassador to somewhere-or-other.
Quite possibly Evil, but most likely a Bumbling Fool.
Peter Reith
Former toe-cutter, head kicker, and general all-round thoroughly nasty guy. Bad Pete was responsible for pushing whatever the rabid Liberal message-of-the-day was, until finally undone by the famous phone-card scandal. Now retired, to leave the peddling of pure evil to others. Notable devotees are the Mad Monk, and Kevin Andrew.
This one is easy: pure, unadulterated Evil.
The wanna-be’s…
Trish Draper
My local MP, best known as an anti-smut morals campaigner, who also took a boyfriend on taxpayer funded overseas trips and claimed spouse allowance. When it became public knowledge she reluctantly paid back what she should not have claimed.
If only Trish could spend more time sorting out her own morals, and keeping out of the lounge rooms and bedrooms of the rest of us. Considering retiring, was brow-beaten (ugh!) by Little John into staying on. (What a hideous image that conjures up).
Trish has now decided to retire. Hooray! Trish, you are a dreadful person. Not clever enough to be Evil, too awful to be a Good Guy, and too ineffectual to be a Means Well, means Trish is a Bumbling Fool.
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AAARRGGGHHH. There are bound to be more, but writing this has left me so despondent about our leaders, our would-be leaders, and our wanna-be leaders that I despair of the future of this country.
I struggle to think of any polly of any colour who possesses both honesty and integrity. I suspect there are one or two who are well-meaning and intelligent, but they are in the minority.
What is to become of us, led by a bunch of no-hopers like this lot?