The average lifetime of a vacuum cleaner is supposed to be 8 years.
We’ve just bought our 3rd in 19 years which means we’ve been beating the average, so far.
I still think of the first one I bought, way back in 1986, as my new vacuum cleaner. At the time it was very expensive, top of the range, a big name brand. I paid extra for one of those turbo carpet smasher head thingies. It always seemed to work fairly well. The carpet smasher was separately powered and had a bunch of little plastic clips to hold the power cord onto the handle.
Over the years, old #1 had various things go wrong. The handle / wand thing came in sections, joined by these neat plastic clips which broke when you dropped them. But spares were available for a decent price. The wheels would wear and fall off, but we could get spares for those as well.
I used to abuse old #1 in all sorts of ways – sucking up brick dust when drilling holes in a wall with the hammer-drill, cleaning the car, and so on. The bags and filter would clog, but that was normal. The filter could be washed and had to be replaced when too daggy. And bags… changing bags was normal, but it had a nice big bag so that was not needed too often.
Finally, #1 was relegated to the workshop. The carpet smasher was a pain to take off and put on because of that separate power cord, and having the wheels constantly fall off was driving us mad.
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Thus came #2. Another big-name brand, different to #1. Not cheap – a middle of the range kind of price, in a nice funky blue colour. We bought him in 2002.
#2 did not have a carpet smasher, but we thought we could live without that. #2 only took smaller bags, and we could always tell when a bag needed to be replaced because the suction pretty much disappeared.
#2 suffered the same use and abuse as #1 – getting its regular share of sucking up grot in the garage, cleaning out cars, sucking up plaster dust when I’ve been drilling holes in walls.
Poor #2 suffered a calamity about a year ago. I was stirred into action by the oldest son, who told me the garage roller doors had all this dirt and crud on. An accumulation of 15 years worth, to be exact. Washing it off would just make mud and take ages, so I cleverly decided to vacuum it up. Now this dust was VERY fine, and a nice brown colour, the sort of airborne muck that lands everywhere for everyone, that most of us ignore…
All was going well, #2 was doing a lovely job slurping up that dust. The garage roller doors looked a different colour, and I was about 2/3 the way through. #2 was suffering, but labouring bravely on.
Suddenly, poor #2 could take it no more. In a fit of clogged-bag rage, he exploded with a huge cloud of brown dust. Of course, in his desire for retribution he’d expelled this all over me – teaching me my lesson: Change the bag… change the bag!
Too late, though. The bag was so clogged it had burst, spreading its load of muck through the motor and all the internal air pathways. #2 had dusty innards.
Not one to be deterred, I took #2 apart and spent a happy weekend stripping him down and giving him a service he would never forget. All those inside bits… washed and scrubbed and left to dry. Re-assembled he no longer threw clouds of brown dust everywhere. But poor #2 has never been the same. The experience left him with less suck, and a nasty high pitched whine.
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The time had finally come. Time to buy a REAL vacuum cleaner. One that can take the use and abuse.
After mumbling about it for weeks, we’ve finally bought a Dyson bagless, the DC08 Telescope. The most expensive vacuum cleaner we’ve ever owned. But he comes with a hard floor brush, and a carpet smasher turbo head. In real dollar terms, old #1 would have cost quite a lot more.

Today I put Mr D to the test. Not only does the carpet look noticeably cleaner, there is a vast amount of suck.
So, what the heck, it was time to get serious. Out to the garage. Time to clean the cars, and, just for the hell of it, suck up a bit of that fine dust that so troubled #2. After all, Mr D is supposed to be so much better than everything else, so why not abuse a brand spanking new one and try it?
After an hour of fiddling about, the conclusion is that Mr D is FAR SUPERIOR to anything that has come before. #1 and #2 are but pale shadows by comparison.
Not only does Mr D genuinely have no bag, it really does work, and exceptionally well. The very fine dust particles are separated, just as the maker claims, there is no loss of suck as the dust container fills, and everything just works.
Some of the features of the Dyson that really make it stand out:
- It really enormously sucks (sorry – could not resist)
- All the little attachment doodad thingies attach to the body of the machine, and don’t fall off! (Compare #1 and #2!!)
- The carpet smasher attachment needs no separate power at all. It runs the carpet smasher using a turbine in the air path. I was sceptical, but it works, and very very well:

- It has very big wheels, which lets it drag around effortlessly
- The dust container unclips and empties very easily and re-attaches with no effort. It is a simple mechanism, very well designed.
- It also comes in funky colours, clear, steel grey and purple!
- It’s light.
I’m a convert. James Dyson sells his own story very well, and that always makes me sceptical. But there is nothing else like this, it’s simple, no bags, easy to use, easy to empty the dust, loads of suck, it just works.
Now, what to do with #1 and #2?
I feel like Angela Throgmorton, with a cupboard full of vacuum cleaners… now which one shall I use today?
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Angela Throgmorton was the owner of Old Tom in a children’s cartoon TV series. In one episode, she has trouble deciding which from her cupboard full of vacuum cleaners to use. She finally selects “old faithful”, which goes on to break, with interesting consequences…
When the kids were smaller I made sure I never missed an episode. “Old Tom” makes good viewing for adults as well as children!